Stories from my life where OCD played a crucial role.
Intrusive thoughts center around morality. As discussed in "What is OCD Really," intrusions range from contaminating oneself to accidentally killing someone to forming incestuous relationships. Many OCD sufferers share similar fears due to widespread commonalities in moral codes (for a discussion on common fears, read "The Diversity of OCD"). Anecdotally and interestingly, obsessional fears begin…
OCD and ADHD affect my role as an employee. From being denied jobs to managing deadlines to emergency responses, my disorders has severely impacted my work capacity. However, not all the effects on my job are negative: OCD and ADHD also provide major benefits to my work performance. Often times, my mental disorders only hurt…
Two monitors, two laptops, a mouse, keyboard, and six-pack sprawl before as moonlight filters through large windows behind me. It's three in the morning, and I am starving. I am a stickler for reusing electronics. To make a long argument very, very short: computers don't "slow down," software "gets fatter." If you re-purpose a machine…
Monday's article was supposed to be about how compulsions form. I'm still writing that article—and I'm really happy with how its coming along—but I need to write about what happened to me today (so welcome to a single edit article written at 0130). I started "OCDVID-19: Of Suicide and Self-Harm" with the line "I have…
Continue reading ➞ From 0 to 100: COVID Obsessions in Eight Hours
Virtutem Lunae Soft white light bathes the landscape. A canyon, lifeless only moments before, breathes with new life. Streams whisper through the narrows, gleaming in the moonbeams snaking between trees. A lone fern contrasts sharply with the muted reds of a sandstone wall. Stars paint the canvased sky, winking from their high perches. A gentle…
Ritualistic Self-Destruction A bright white notification on my phone contrasts the dark greens and browns on the monitor above it. The light squeak of brakes floats above the sounds of combat emanating from my headphones: a delivery person has arrived. "Food, brb" sounds from the speakers of half-a-dozen people across the United States. The character…
Red Orbs and Blankets Sirens wail while a man kneels before me asking if I remember who he is—I don't. A friend, who I do recognize, cries, and clings to my right arm. Cool brick presses against my back, and hard tiles support my weight. Heavy boots stomp up the stairs, and one pair stops…
Let Me Teach You How to Drown. OCD can build and destroy that which you love.
I'm parked on the side of the road just off the interstate late at night. To my left is a Big Western, and there's a semi parked for the night in front of me. I'm in my car, audibly sobbing. It's been perhaps ten years since I've cried this hard—and I don't know why. A…
